I remember being asked by my brother at one time. How did you change things around so much, I mean look at you now. You lost everything. I would never had expected this.
To be completely honest, it stopped me in my tracks as up to this point I never really seen myself as lucky, but more along the lines of just surviving day to day. In 2005, I had back surgery in September. That was a long recovery. It took me about a year to recover 100%. I had lost my job a month later due to the back surgery. I got divorced. Pretty much packed a duffel bag of clothes and said enough and up and left. I gave away the house and everything without a fight. My father passed two months later. All in a period of three months my world turned upside down. Needless to say, yeah I was a wreck. It seemed to be the worst things that could happen all happened to the point that I really couldn’t rationalize how this even all began. It was really a numb feeling overall.
This road I’ve been on thus far since then has also been long. It’s been both beautiful and wonderful. It’s opened my eyes to possibility, to personal power, as well as to awareness. You see, when I started meditating, nothing came from it. I turned away a few times in aggravation. I wasn’t getting the results others were. I was trying to hard. Relax, breath deep, expect nothing. When I really let go of “ME”, as in I don’t exist and bow down to humility as a speck of sand on the beach. “ I am” whatever you want me to be, show me what I need to know.
I wasn’t prepared for what had happened nor for the things that I had been shown. But I will say this. Even in your darkest hour, when everything seems black and there’s no hope, no light, maybe all you have to do is ask. Sometimes bad things happen so you wake the fuck up and spread your light like a glitter bomb. Only in those dark times do you ask for GOD. Some people like myself have never asked of anything, but why is this happening and turning a cold shoulder. I understand it now. But none of this would be possible had those trying times not happened. Through years of practice, I can sit on earth, meditate and feel its vibration, it’s smooth pulsing of back and forth. I can sit next to someone and close by eyes feeling the vibration and know what they’re going through. The awareness of this vibratory field can literally change your life. It can help heal people. It can lend a hand towards compassion and tolerance. Best of all, when you have choices everyday in life, the light will not let you choose wrong provided you don’t choose based on old patterns. You will feel it in your being. The solar plexus doesn’t lie. Feel it. It starts with increasing that vibration. Increasing that vibration will increase awareness. Where your awareness goes, energy flows. It’s this energy that manifests in reality. But no matter what my brother says, I don’t call it luck. Find the GOD in you.
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